Sunday, November 05, 2006

Hitchhiking & Homos

          WHEN I WAS ABOUT nineteen I got picked up hitchhiking by a homosexual man at this very exit (I wrote this sitting on the side of the road on the Mississippi Alabama line); I never seemed to wait very long for rides back then when I was young and this guy stopped in a brand new '76-77 Chevy Monte Carlo with aan utomatic on the floor. He was going to Florida and so was I. I remember it was a beautiful summer night about seven pm and being in this beautiful new car with everything shinny and new, it was light green with tinted T-tops and we were cruising a long just fine when one of the worst hitchhiking experiences of my life happened...
           WE HAD JUST crossed the Florida line maybe 50 miles east of here when right out of the blue this middle-aged professional looking guy puts his hand on my leg and says;

“I want to suck your cock!”

          I’M NOT SURE what I was thinking at the time, I’m guessing I wanted out of there in a sudden hurry and I grabbed that damned T-handled shifter on the console and slammed it all the way forward into Park!   The back tires locked up and we started sliding sideways first one way then the other and I’ll never forget the look of utter shock on that dudes face as we was sliding down the interstate sideways doing seventy-five miles an hour when the back tires hit the grass and a small decline we started rolling...
          I MUST HAVE got knocked out because the next thing I remember I was picking my stuff up off the grass that was strung about 50 feet in a straight line that had come out of my now busted backpack when a big State Trooper who appeared out of nowhere said,
 “What the hell happened here?”
         I POINTED DOWN to the now severly disheveled man with his shirt tail hanging out his hair all messed up scratching his head with one hand and his ass with the other walking around his now totally totaled brand new car laying upside down in the middle of the interstate, and said,
“That son of a bitch tried to grab my cock and I slammed the thing in Park!”
         He looked over at the man and I could see anger come over his face and said, “I’ll take care of this!” I finished grabbing my things and bundled them all together and started up the on ramp and he stomped off towards the guy....Now when ever I get picked up by some queer I tell’em that story and the ride usually ends shortly after that....
 Copyright 2014 by Mark Anthony Given
All Rights Reserved 28 USC 1746, Invoking 90 Stat. 2541 and
Article 2(4) of the Berne Convention for the Protection of Literary and Artistic Works
 9:50 AM 11/24/2014

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