DATELINE MONROE,
LOUISIANA October 30, 2006 (This story is out of order but I got to get it
down while I’m still shit’n my pants!) Two crazy kids picked me up just south
of Jackson, Mississippi about 10 am and took me on the ride of my life. The
driver a crazy bastard named ASIAN busted right out laughing when I said “You
look fuck’n Asian!” After he told me his name. “I’m half Korean and half
something else, I forget”...and handed me a fat blunt as soon as I got in the
car. The passenger, some squirley little fucker named Lonely I think, I
couldn’t see him too good sitting behind him with my bag next to me. “I hear
Koreans eat dogs” I said, laughing...Asian, says...”You fuck’n right! I ate my
neighbor’s dog after he bit my little sister a few months ago! No shit put some
BBQ sauce on that bad boy and called the relatives over for a real chow down!”
“Your fuck’n kidding me?” “No I’m not.”
THESE TWO CRAZY bastards were so messed
up they was supposed to drop me off in Jackson when they turned off of I-55 to
go west on I-40 but somehow got us lost in downtown Jackson, Mississippi in
broad daylight. We were driving around in circles lost when right out of the
blue the crazy ASIAN bastard says. “This looks like a great place for a
“drive-by-slapping”. What the hell is that I’m thinking, when this little
Lonely fucker rolls the window down hangs half out the car while its moving and
bitch slaps some business man waiting cross the street in downtown Jackson! Oh Shit! FOR
NO APPARENT REASON ASIAN stomps on the gas and were flying thru rush hour
traffic and just when I thought we were almost back to normal I hear police
sirens and see flashing blue lights coming from behind us. This crazy ASIAN
bastard stomps on it again and were weaving in and out of traffic and when we
come to a red light with cars ahead of already stopped; we were going too fast
and he slams on the breaks and I remember going thru a busy intersection
sliding sideways going the wrong way on the highway!! This crazy bastard was driving like
Mario Andretti weaving thru traffic, crossing the center lane into oncoming
traffic going nearly hundred miles an hour when he slams on the brakes and
eases into a Chevron station next to the on ramp of the interstate and pulls
around back just as a whole flank of state police, city police, sheriff’s
office blow right by us....he never even comes to a stop and eases on to the
highway and on to the on ramp heading 40 west like we was supposed to be going,
driving like my grandfather does..
I was too scared to get out of the car
and wound up going hundred miles out of my way and they dropped me off at the
worst exit ever in START, LOUISIANA with nothing but cops and prisons vans
getting on the highway. Took me seven hours to get a ride out there!! The two
crazy bastards were supposed to go to this web blog site and stay in touch but
I never heard from them!
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